The earth shooketh when our reluctant hero, LearnedButt, took Reddit by storm with his post about the now infamous Poop Knife. If you missed it because you don’t check Reddit like your life depends on it (aka. You live under a rock?) then let us explain how and why this became a thing.

A long long time ago, in a far off land, some dude with some blessed genetics was raised in a family home where everyone pooped so big that they had a knife on hand to chop up their turds. That's right, they had a communal knife for the sole purpose of dividing dung to save their septic system from total destruction.

When dude grew up, he was blissfully unaware that the friend-folk that surrounded him weren't learned in the fine art of crap-cutting. He had a rude awakening one night when he asked a friend where they kept their "poop knife" and decided to share the experience on the World Wide Web and, well, the rest is history….

But don't take our word for it! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!